there isn't a minute of the day that I don't think about you,

and there isn't a second of the day that I don't miss you.. ♥

så många dagar har jag bott i amerikat nu. nästan 400!

i övrigt har jag inte speciellt mycket att skriva om, som ni kanske märker. bloggen har nog aldrig varit så här död som den är nu. jag börjar bli mer bekväm i LA nu. hittar runt, har skaffat en umgängeskrets och tar mig ur sängen varje dag - bara det är ju ett plus liksom. 

helgen spenderade jag i goda vänners sällskap. middag på cheesecake factory i lördags, och hela söndagen spenderade vi på venice beach. livet hade kunnat vara sämre så jag ska inte klaga. 

mina kusiner kommer till LA nu i början av september. om drygt två veckor får jag återigen kramas med mikkan. har inte sett henne sen april 2011 när vi sa hejdå i vårt gemensamma hem i umeå. det är alltså nästan 1½ år sen. hur kan tiden gå så fort? i slutet på september kommer min new york kompis deena hit och hälsar på. september kommer bli en bra månad, det känner jag på mig!

//

that's how many days I have been in the us and a. almost 400!

don't really have anything to write about, which is why I never do anymore. but I'm getting more comfortable with LA now. I have made nice friends and I get around much better now so I don't feel lost all the time. at least I get out of bed each and every day, which is a good thing. 

the weekend I spent with friends. saturday night we went for dinner at the cheesecake factory and the whole sunday we spent at venice beach. it was a really good weekend!

my cousins are coming to LA in the beginning of september. in about two weeks I'll get to see my swedish best friend, the one that I used to live with and haven't seen since april 2011. that's almost 1½ years ago! crazy how fast time flies. and in the end of september, my new york friend deena is coming. I have a feeling that september will turn out great! 

igår var jag och min nyfunna vän michaela ut till santa monica pier. vi åkte det berömda hjulet. det var jag och hon och så kanske femtioelva par som bara satt och hånglade. yum.

tiden går lite långsamt just nu. vissa dagar känns som om de vore 48 timmar och inte 24. hjärta och hjärna kan inte komma till ro. vissa nätter ligger jag sömnlös eftersom jag saknar allt och alla så mycket att jag känner fysisk smärta. jag försöker intala mig själv att det kommer att bli bättre med tiden men just nu känner jag mig så utmattad. emotionellt, fysiskt och psykiskt.

//

last night me and my new found friend michaela went to the santa monica pier. we went on the ferris wheel. it was the two of us and then about a million couples who were only making out. yum. 

time goes by so slowly right now. some days feel like they would have had 48 hours and not 24. my head and my heart are not at peace at all. some nights I lay sleeples in my bed because I miss everything and everybody so much it hurts. I'm trying to tell myself that it will get better in time. right now I'm just drained.. emotionally, mentally and physically. 

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And boys, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” 

I miss you so much! I don't know how to be without you.. ♥

 city of angels

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” 

umm.. jag vet att bloggen hamnar lite i skymundan nu när jag är här i LA men jag har liksom ingenting att blogga om. livet har inte riktigt börjat ännu. jag har ingenting intressant eller vettigt att komma med - ingenting av värde. allt jag kan skriva om just nu är hur mycket jag saknar new york, alla mina vänner där och danny så klart. förutom det har jag ingenting att komma med.

igår ramlade jag ner för trappen. känns som om det är mitt signum - jag inviger varje stad med att ramla ner för en trapp. den här gången var det, för ovanlighetens skull inte knäna, utan min högra armbåge och min högra ankel som åkte på stryk. nåja, det som inte dödar härdar. jag kan inte sluta skratta åt mig själv - över hur galen jag är. kanske att jag skulle satsa på att bli stuntkvinna? jag tycks liksom inte ha några som helst problem att slänga mig ner för en trapp. alltid en början?

håll till godo vänner - jag lovar att jag ska börja blogga igen, så fort jag kommer igång med livet igen. ♥

//

//

I know I'm awful at updating nowadays.. but the thing is, I have nothing to write about. life is sort of.. on hold right now. I didn't really start living.. yet. I have nothing of value to write about. the only thing I know for sure is that I miss new york with every heartbeat. I miss all my friends and danny of course. other than that, I have nothing..

last night I fell down the stairs.. again. it is sort of my thing to do. nothing I'm proud of but it is what it is. whenever I'm in a new city I end up falling down the stairs. this time I didn't fall on my knees though.. I fell on my right elbow and my right ankle. I can't stop lauging at myself when I think about what it must have looked like. well I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. maybe I should look into a career as a stunt woman? I mean.. I obviously seem to be perfectly fine with thorwing myself down the stairs every now and then. 

hang in there, dear friends. I promise to start writing again.. as soon as I come back to life! ♥