waiting. waiting. waiting. 

34 days left until I get to see my man again. 34 days until that first airport kiss that is going to be so full of love and yeah, a bit of salt from all those happy tears that will stream down my face the second I see him walk through the doors. keep telling myself that 34 days are nothing. yeah. 

I don't know how to express my love for him. words are not enough and I mean.. it's kinda hard to express love in any other way than words when you are miles and miles away. I just can't wait to have him here. to have his arms around me again. to feel his kisses all over my body. to be able to fall asleep in his arms and wake up with my head on his chest. 

the other night when I was going to bed, I was looking at that empty side where he would sleep if we were in the same bed. and it felt so empty. I was laying there like a lovesick crazy woman, listening to lovesongs by westlife and crying over my empty bed. crying over the fact that the man I love more than life itself was not there with me.

well, for me it's waking up beside you, to watch the sun rise on your face. to know that I can say I love you, in any given time or place. it's little things that only I know - those are the things that make you mine. and it's like flying without wings, cause you're my special thing, I'm flying without wings.

and you're the place my life begins, and you'll be where it ends. I'm flying without wings. and that's the joy you bring, I'm flying without wings. ♥

it's true what they say. heaven's got a plan for you. for everybody. heaven's plan for me was apparently to move to california and meet the love of my life. he is the first and only man in my life who has showed me real love. he is the only man in my life who ever made me feel so happy and loved. he is so precious to me. there are no words that will ever be able to explain my love for him. 

thank you for walking into my life when I least expected you to, but when I needed you the most. thank you for being the amazing man you are, and for making me want to be a better person. thank you for all the beautiful memories you have given me so far. thank you for all your kisses and for those hugs that only you can give. the best hugs in the world. thank you for all the love you have for me. for all the love that you show me - every day. you make me so happy. I'm so proud to have a man like you. a real man. ♥

it's hard - being without him. and every day I try to see- not as another day without him, but as a day closer to seeing him again. and july 30th I'll finally get to be with him again. I can't wait for him to get over here. I can't wait to drive to the airport to pick him up. I can't wait for him to see sweden. by now I've pretty much seen all of his places back in cali. I've seen where he grew up and what schools he went to and where he played as a kid and stuff like that. his memories that he so beautifully shared with me. I can't wait to share my memories with him. to show him where I went to school and college and where I used to work and where me and my friends would meet for coffee and girltalk. I can't wait to make new memories with him. 

I've almost been home for a month now. a month without him. and it hasn't been an easy one. it's acutally been one of the hardest months I've ever had. but with skype we at least manage to fall asleep 'with each other'. just a simple thing like going to bed without him is just breaking my heart. but we are dealing with it in the best way we can. 

54 more days. 54, that's all. that's all I need to get through until he is here. 54 days until I get to hold his hand again and see him smile and hear him laugh and kiss his lips and his neck and fall asleep in his arms. 54.. 

and the summer with him is going to be amazing. not only will he see all my favorite places here but we are planning a roadtrip towards the end of his stay. he needs to see stockholm. he needs to see the beauty that sweden has to offer. and except for the roadtrip we are attending a wedding. one of my closest friends is getting married to the love of her life. and I get to attend the wedding - with the love of my life. I get to hold his hand and be proud to have him there with me. god, I'm so excited! and happy and in love! 54 days without him is nothing compared to a whole life with him. ♥