one of our first pictures together. what a handsome man I have. my god! I look at him and my body is just filled up with pure happiness and love. I have never loved somebody as much as I love him. I have never trusted anybody as much as I trust him. I have never let anybody come as close as I let him.

every saturday morning when I wake up in his bed and the sun shines trough the blinds and he spoons me, I feel like the happiest girl in the world. that's all I need. to wake up next to the man I love more than life itself, and have his arms around me. it's like nothing else exists in that particluar moment. just him, and me, and the little ray of sun that shines through.

a few nights ago, as we were laying in bed, all tangled up.. I was just looking at him and I felt the tears burning in my eyes. and eventually I just couldn't hold it back anymore. I started crying. first because I was so happy and because I feel so blessed to have a man like him in my life. then because I was scared to death.. scared to ever have to be without him. by this point, I don't know how to be without him. I barely know how to leave his house and go to work. all my free time I spend at his house. preferably wearing one of his hoodies, and just snuggling with him in bed. there's no better feeling in the world.

we talk about our future, a lot. I have never talked about a future with any man in my life. mostly because all the men before him were nothing like him. all the men before him were those kinds of men who would never appreciate me - men who would make me beg for their attention, for their time and their love. he never does. he is just so giving it sometimes scares me. in 25 years, I've never met a man who gave me as much love as he does. 

we were meant to be together. he is my destiny. and everything we are going through, and everything we eventually will go through, we will do it together. like the phoenix, we will rise from the ashes and come out stronger than we ever were once we first started our journey.

my love.. words can't express how much you mean to me or how much I love you, and for your love, I'd give my last breathe. 

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