igår besökte jag min vän på sjukhuset. det var tungt att komma in där och se honom uppkopplad till alla maskiner, med en tub ner i halsen för att kunna andas. jag grät. innan jag kom in till sjukhuset, när jag var där och när jag kom ut. grät ögena ur mig hela dan igår. 

jag fick hålla hans kalla hand och en millisekund öppnade han ögonen och tittade på mig. sen stängde han dem igen och somnade om. jag kunde knappt få fram några ord. jag bara höll hans hand och grät. lycklig att han är vid liv, men olycklig över att han är där han är nu. olycklig över att hans käke och hans nyckelben är krossade. olycklig över att han har en skallfraktur och invärtes blödningar. olycklig över att han ligger i koma och läkarna inte kan avgöra om han kommer få bestående men när han väl vaknar. 

//

yesterday I went to see him at the hospital. it was awful to walk in there and see him in a condition like that - hooked up to all the machines and with a tube down his throat that helps him breathe. I cried. before I walked into the hospital, when I saw him and on my way back home. all day yesterday, I was a complete mess. I couldn't calm myself down. I couldn't stop crying.

I got to hold his hand. it was cold. and for a second he just opened his eyes and looked at me. then he fell asleep again. I am happy that he is alive. doctors say he was lucky - not a lot of people would survive a crash like that. I am sad that he is where he is though. that his jaw and collarbone are broken. that he has a fracture in his scull and that he has internal bleedings. I am so sad I don't know what to do with myself or how to help him. all I can do is keep praying for his recovery!

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