I can't believe I'm back.. Back home in Cali with my man. My other home I mean. A girl should be so lucky to have two homes. One back in Sweden and one here in California with my man. My man. My love! My other half!

To think I almost didn't make it back.. I was ready to kill myself then and there.

So this is what happened.. I arrive to the airport in Stockholm around 5 am September 23. All my bags are packed, I have my passport and all my papers. I walk up to the check in desk. The woman takes my passport and starts checking me in on the flight to London. She asks me to put my bag up so she can mark it. She asks me if I want an aisle seat or a window seat. Everything is fine up until the point where she's about to print my ticket.. Or my boarding pass. It won't print. She starts all over again, giving me a nervous smile to calm me down. Again, it's not working. My body is in a paralyzed state of mind but I'm trying to stay calm. She asks me to take my bag and go over to the service desk, that they would help me. Not knowing what was wrong, I grabbed my bag and ran over there.

Again, they are trying to print my ticket and it's not working. Now I start to feel the panic so I ask the woman what is going on?! She tells me that they can see that I'm booked on the flight and that its paid for but they can't seem to find my ticket. (HOW CRAZY!!!!!) Anyways.. This woman ends up calling the main office for British airways in London, asking them what to do. The woman is on the phone with the man in London for about an hour. They are trying to fix my problem. Not able to do anything, the man in London says that he would put me on the plane anyways since I actually had a paid trip and since something must be wrong with their computer system. She agrees and they allow me to fly from Stockholm to London, telling me that I have to see people in London regarding the rest of my trip. 

As I land in London, I have no idea if I should look for my bag or look for a service desk to get helped. I end up asking for help and everybody I ask, just send me to someone else. Everybody keep telling me "Don't worry.. They will help you over there..". I felt like God was really testing my nerves that day. All I wanted was to break down and cry. This stress and this awful feeling of knowing that I might not get to see my man was killing me.

Anyways.. I finally reached the American Airlines desk where the lady started to check me in. Again, everything seems fine and I think to myself "oh, God.. Please let everything be ok this time." Again, I'm asked if I want a window seat or an aisle.. She puts all the information into the computer and presses "print boarding pass" and then.. Nothing. She says "That's odd!?" And tells me that the boarding pass won't print. She asks me to hold on while she walks over to her collegue who sits a few windows down from her. They start looking at my papers and comparing them to their computer screen. The people behind me look at me like I'm some kind of criminal or something.. And I just want the ground to open up so I can fall down and die. 

The lady comes back like 20 minutes later telling me the same thing I heard in Stockholm. That they can see that I'm booked on the flight between London and LA but that they can't seem to print my boarding pass. Nobody knows why this happened but somehow it did. She went back to the collegue and the two of them ended up calling down the manager and some other people. All in all, there were SIX people working on getting my boarding pass printed/understanding why this problem occurred in the first place. As for myself, I'm completely drained out and my body is entering some sort of zombie state where I just want everything to be over with so I can breathe again. 

The lady comes back, apologizing and telling me that they are working on it. Telling me that I did nothing wrong. I was there on time. I had all my stuff with me and that I did exactly what I was supposed to do. She tells me that it seems as though the computer system had messed something up but that it wasn't my fault and that I couldn't be punished for it. 

She told me that they would need some more time to figure things out but that they would so everything to get me on that flight. 

I'm thinking to myself that I am so lucky I had these five hours in between my flights and that I am so lucky that these people are actually working hard to get me on the flight. There is nothing better than when people actually do their job and make an effort so that you feel as though they are there for you! They could have just told me "sorry, there's nothing we can do" and made me buy a new ticket or something. But they didn't. About 2.5h after I landed in London, they had managed to get me on the flight. I got my boarding pass and I just wanted to cry. Happy tears of course!! I felt like I could kiss that woman and all her staff working on my issue. I was so happy and relieved. 

2 hours later, I was boarding my plane and 11.5 hours of flying brought me from London to LA. I spent 2 hours trying to get through customs and then.. Finally I could run back into his arms. That was the best hug I could ever get!

(the pic in this post is taken the same night I came back. after all the drama with the freaking tickets and after all that flying. I look all worn out and crappy but at least I'm happy. And with him! <3 )

Oh my god.. I can't believe I haven't written anything in so long. I was always so passionate about this whole writing thing. Even though most of what I would write here would just be a way to vent, I still enjoyed doing it. Anyways.. What has happened since my last post?

Well.. My man came to Sweden and stayed for a month. Seeing him at the airport as he got off the plane, running into his arms and kissing him, was the best and most intense feeling I've ever had in my life. I wish I could find the proper words to describe it but its just impossible. I guess that if you've ever been away from somebody that you love with every breath you take, and then seeing them again after all that time.. That feeling.. That incredible feeling! 

After a few days on Swedish ground, he managed to get over his jet lag and we managed to actually leave our love nest and socialize with the world again. On sunny days we tried to spend as much time outdoors as possible. We went on long walks, we enjoyed the Swedish nature and I tried to show him some of the places where I grew up, went to school or worked. At nights we would snuggle up in the couch with some good wine, taking us through all THREE seasons of Game of thrones.. Plus tons of movies. The best part was knowing that I could fall asleep in his arms, and in the morning when I woke up, he would still be there! My man! The best freaking man!! And of course, waking up with him every morning is just like waking up at Christmas! I'm happy and excited! Blessed and grateful! Not only do I get to wake up with him but we also have another amazing day ahead of us to enjoy each other and the joy of being together! What more could I ask for?

I took him on road trips. To the north, to the middle and to the south. And even though my city isn't even close to Stockholm's beauty, I know he appreciated it as much here as he did in Stockholm. We had so many beautiful moments and we made so many beautiful memories! 

On top of that, I got to see one of my dearest friends getting married to her man. Me and my man, got to see her and her man! Oh god, LOVE was everywhere that beautiful day and even though we had some misfortunes, I will always remember the beautiful parts from that day. 

I did my best to keep the tears away that whole day. Right after the wedding though, we had to hit the road again. We had about 4-5 hours on the road to look forward to. I had to drive straight from the wedding to the airport in Stockholm. As we finally got there, we sat and held each other and as soon as I saw the green letters on the screen, telling him to 'go to gate', I couldn't hold those freaking tears back anymore. It was like opening a kitchen faucet. I didn't want him to go. I didn't wanna see him leave. 

Coming home, where everything smelled just like him, where every inch of my house reminded me of him, yet knowing he's not here anymore, broke my heart. Over and over again. It was so awful. I felt so empty. I put on one of his T-shirts and I crawled up in our bed. I was exhausted from all the driving and I just fell apart. I couldn't stop crying. It's sad to think about those awful moments without him. Moments that are causing me so much pain. Actual physical pain. It feels like my heart is being cut out of my chest in the most brutal way! God, I never wanna feel that pain ever again!

That month just flew by so fast.. But we had fun, we made memories, we had good beer and wine and cozy nights at the sauna and snuggly nights on the couch and miles and miles on the road.. And every second with him was A M A Z I N G!!

Now we are 8 days apart. In just 8 days I'll be back in LA and back in his arms. I can't wait!