Don't think I can say it enough times..
I have managed to find the best man out there and he makes me happier than I have ever been!

I love how he makes me laugh when he is being all silly or when he tickles my feet and I can't breathe because I laugh so hard. I love just cuddling with him while watching a movie. I love when he makes us a cuddle spot on the living room floor and we just stay there all night, snuggled up. I love waking up next to him. I love when he cooks dinner for me! I love looking at him and seeing him smile! GOD!! I love everything about him!

Spent the whole weekend at his house. Practically my second home now. Went over Friday morning and brought fresh bagels. We had breakfast and then went to bed to cuddle. Went out to 3110 Friday night and then back to his house. Were up all night and fell asleep around 7-8am.

Saturday we slept in and later in the day I got to meet his wonderful mom and big sister. Such a loving family! No wonder he turned out so freaking great!

Sunday I had a meeting and after that I ended up at his house again. Snuggled in the couch, watching HIMYM and then big daddy. Eventually we both fell asleep on the couch and I realized I had to get my tired ass home.

Every time I leave - I miss him so much it hurts. I love him! He is the best thing that ever happened to me! Jeez - what an awesome man! And jeez - how happy he makes me!! <3

So I met this guy.. He came into my life out of the blue and turned everything upside down. Every time he looks at me, holds my hand or kisses me, my heart skips a beat.

He is the best boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. Everything is so easy with him and he makes me so happy! I am so lucky to have him.. my love! <3

He makes me so freaking happy!! <3

this is the start of something awesome.. 

2013 is gonna be legen..dary!

from LA with L O V E.. happy 2013!!

after a rough week, I was in HUGE need of a good weekend. and this one was awesome. and the best part.. it's not over yet! thank god!

igår besökte jag min vän på sjukhuset. det var tungt att komma in där och se honom uppkopplad till alla maskiner, med en tub ner i halsen för att kunna andas. jag grät. innan jag kom in till sjukhuset, när jag var där och när jag kom ut. grät ögena ur mig hela dan igår. 

jag fick hålla hans kalla hand och en millisekund öppnade han ögonen och tittade på mig. sen stängde han dem igen och somnade om. jag kunde knappt få fram några ord. jag bara höll hans hand och grät. lycklig att han är vid liv, men olycklig över att han är där han är nu. olycklig över att hans käke och hans nyckelben är krossade. olycklig över att han har en skallfraktur och invärtes blödningar. olycklig över att han ligger i koma och läkarna inte kan avgöra om han kommer få bestående men när han väl vaknar. 

//

yesterday I went to see him at the hospital. it was awful to walk in there and see him in a condition like that - hooked up to all the machines and with a tube down his throat that helps him breathe. I cried. before I walked into the hospital, when I saw him and on my way back home. all day yesterday, I was a complete mess. I couldn't calm myself down. I couldn't stop crying.

I got to hold his hand. it was cold. and for a second he just opened his eyes and looked at me. then he fell asleep again. I am happy that he is alive. doctors say he was lucky - not a lot of people would survive a crash like that. I am sad that he is where he is though. that his jaw and collarbone are broken. that he has a fracture in his scull and that he has internal bleedings. I am so sad I don't know what to do with myself or how to help him. all I can do is keep praying for his recovery!

när jag bodde i new york så fick jag den värsta nyhet man kan motta. jag fick veta att en av mina vänner hade omkommit i en bilolycka under hans semester i thailand. jag minns exakt hur allt bara stannade och på något sätt gick i slow motion. i alla fall för någon minut. och sen kom tårarna - sen förstod jag vad som hade hänt och att jag aldrig skulle få se daniel igen. 

det har nu gått ganska precis ett år och en månad sen jag fick veta. 

och nu ikväll fick jag veta att en av mina närmaste vänner här, var med om en bilolycka igår. han ligger på sjukhus med en bruten käke och brutet nyckelben. det är allt jag vet för närvarande. imorgon ska jag försöka få reda på vilket sjukhus han ligger på - och se om jag kan besöka honom. 

ord kan inte beskriva känslor och tankar som bara överöser en när såna här saker händer. plötsligt inser man att livet är så jävla skört. att man inte är odödlig, även om man ibland tror det. 

jag önskar att jag fick krama mamma ikväll. jag hade behövt det just nu.

//

about a year ago, while I was still living in new york, I recieved the worst possible news. a friend of mine was killed in a car accident during his vacation in thailand. I remember how everything around me just stopped - or it was in slow motion. then I sort of realized what had happened and then the tears came. but none of my tears would ever bring him back and I couldn't believe I would never get to see him again.

that was a year ago. tonight I found out that one of my closest friends here in LA was in a car accident. he is in the hospital right now with a broken jaw and a broken collarbone. that's all I know for now. tomorrow I will try to find out which hospital he is at so I can go and visit him.

words can't even describe the thoughts and feelings that one feels in a time like this. you suddenly realize how precious life is - and how you are not immortal. I wish my mom was here now so I could hug her. that's what I would need right now.

after a crazy night with my buddy patron.

me, carina, robbie, simon and sean.

santa monica © 2012